I'm listening to the audiobook Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin, in which the life and genius of Abraham Lincoln is documented. In particular, the story emphasizes how Abraham Lincoln was able to get peers that had competed against him in politics to eventually become some of his strongest supporters and allies.
Something that strikes me about Abraham Lincoln is that time and time again when there are opportunities for him to be petty, he is not. Throughout his life, he encountered people that were condescending, spiteful, proud, obnoxious and petty... and I'm sure although things irked him, he bore them and did not go out of his way to prove small points. This won him a lot of favour - even if people had started off being spiteful towards him, the fact that he acted with my graciousness and generosity left an impression on them. And it's not that he didn't speak his mind - if there was an epic betrayal or someone tried to pull one over him twice, he addressed it. But even then, there were many times that he addressed it as minimally as possible - he didn't need to explain himself.
I think over the last decade of my life I've become more self-aware and mindful of the fact that I enjoy and value speaking my mind. I'm realizing though that there are some circumstances where I speak my mind over the smallest inconvenience, and I'm left wondering was that worth it? I truly do value asserting myself and my needs, but I think in some cases there is something to be said about showing some resilience, not letting the small stuff rattle you (too much), and trusting that your integrity and ability to be true to yourself will come through. Do I need to claim/defend every idea that was mine, every intent that I had, every gesture or compromise I made? No. Perhaps I can just trust in knowing that I know, and give a little less time to the opinion held by others.